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Both groups then watched film clips that were either happy or sad. How does this work? Banning negative thinking beyond a second daily allocation is also likely to backfire. The late social psychologist Daniel Wegner led a famous study in which subjects were told to avoid thinking about white bears and failed miserably try it! Even when the ban was lifted, the group thought about white bears much more than the control group.

The tendency to use these types of avoidance strategies is associated with lower well-being, poorer problem solving, and less satisfying interpersonal relationships. But happiness is not something that comes about through focusing on it as a daily choice or goal. Study after study has shown that it is only when we stop struggling with how we think we should feel, and instead engage with, accept and embrace our true thoughts and emotions with curiosity, courage and compassion, that real joy, growth and creativity emerge.

Instead, try accepting the way you feel as legitimate and try to identify what you are feeling and why. By ending the internal struggle of how you actually feel vs. This is a much better way to choose happiness for yourself. Be willing to choose and choose and choose and choose again.

You have to keep trying and keep choosing until you get it, until it feels right, until it hits you right in the gut, gives you goose bumps, and makes your soul sing with joy! Turn over every stone.

Choosing Happiness Even When Life Is Hard - eBook

Be willing to be open-minded, meaning, be an endless student. To grow is to learn and to learn is to grow.


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  4. Be open-minded to trying new things, and to opening up your heart and your mind. That is how you prevent getting stuck.

    When Choosing Happiness Seems Impossible

    We have different needs, different desires and different wants at different times in our lives, and being open-minded helps lead us to what we need in this moment and to what is going to make us happy in this moment. I got very clear about what I wanted and how I wanted to feel every day.

    Every day, I go to my new job of happiness. Being happy means having a positive mindset. Try to be positive in everything that you do. For example: cleaning the house, doing chores, paying the bills, going to work, having a difficult conversation with someone, etc. The more we practice being positive during regular life events, the happier we will be.

    We attract what we put out into the world. If we are being negative, we will attract more negativity.

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    If we are being positive, we will attract more positivity. Always be conscious of what you are putting out into the universe. I will get through this. Keep things simple. Sounds like that should be an easy task, right?

    Choosing Happiness Even When Life Is Hard

    But so many of us struggle with simplicity because we are not designed for it. It has been beaten into our head that we must hustle, work hard, and burn ourselves out if we want to achieve our goals. Guess where that leads you? When you know what will serve your benefits in the long-term even though doing it will be hard at first, just do it. Push yourself through it anyway. Train yourself to do the harder yet better things and let go of anyone or anything that constantly brings you more sorrow than happiness.

    To choose yourself means drawing your own boundaries and sticking to them at all times.

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    It means overcoming the fear of confrontation to call out disrespectful behaviours while honouring your unique way of being. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.

    Give them the care and respect they deserve and express them to others with confidence and self-compassion. To choose yourself means building a life that works best for you.

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